Art today confessed to me he had completely ruined what had for some time looked to be a nice dinner...
Art Burshy was invited by his agent to have dinner with art collectors; asking Art to join as it would be good to get some attention and art works sold. In a moment of weakness Art had accepted. But when entering the restaurant and seeing the table with business people he had taken a deep breath and told himself to make the best of it. Certainly, also an artist needs to have bread on the table, and Art had not sold too much recently.
Now, Art can be quite entertaining - if he wants to - and in his early days he would have loved to play the entertainer and explain people all the ínteresting' elements, get their admiration and making other people intelligent. But over the years he found it harder to play these games, and also he felt it less rewarding to have people voicing their admiration about trivial elements of life and art.
This evening again people started asking him very basic questions and complimenting him. And Art politely answered and played the game of explain-the-basics-of-art-to-ignorant-dumbos. He even got carried away, heard himself talk bullshit, and getting carried away by his ego... so as soon as he observed his own behavior he snapped out of it. Although it is tempting to roll yourself in such pool of self-justification and admiration, it is from an intellectual point of view sooo boring.
He then started at the table paying attention to the people, trying to remember their names, listening to their stories, ignoring the bullshit cold talk and trying to ask more interesting questions (or questions that are less safe and standard):
- why the hell did your parents give you that name
- why did you think 2 children are enough
- what makes your wife stay with you
- what is the dream you know you will never realise
- what is your worst fear; what are you most afraid to lose
- what terrible kids behaviour do you still demonstrate when under pressure
- what is the most terrible sin you have ever committed...really...
Sure, at the start people would basically ignore some of the questions or avoid giving a real answer, but after some wine they actually really replied to the questions, which gave a funny and interesting flavor to the conversation.
The evening was underway for wquite some time and actuyally things looked pretty well, and his agent gave Art a satisfied look. Then one guy next to him asked what Art really thought of the evening...
His agent gave him a begging look like "do-not-ruin-the-evening-by-being-too-honest"
Art was silent for a moment, many things went through his head, and what type of things he should or could answer.
Politely:
- well, thank you for asking, it is so nice to be surrounded by such interested and interesting friends
- so great to have the opportunity to share views with the you chaps
But these sentences gave him a sense of repulsion.
Maybe a bit less polite:
- well, not to worry about me, sometimes its good to take some time for such events
But while still thinking about it Art heard himself say out loud:
- well, I am doing my best to make the conversation interesting, but that's not easy with such ignorant and arrogant stiff penguins like you....
This is where his agent's jaw had dropped on the table before trying to save the conversation.
But the damage had been done and heavily offended the 'old chaps' left the restaurant with faces of disgust.
Art Burshy looked with an innocent frown at his agent, and his agent gave him a terrible look...
And Art could only mumble...: "Well, they might not like it...but I am pretty sure I was right...."
Well, in a way this is probably not the worst thing ever happening at dinner tables, and I just guess that for an artist like Art it is difficult to find a balance between pleasing people and remaining true to yourself....
Notebook drawings about Art Burshy, an artist struggling with his challenges and dark sides on his way to become successful in art and business, whatever that might be...
Saturday, 30 August 2014
Sunday, 24 August 2014
Universal solutions and strange animals
Today Art confessed to me what animal he actually resembles...
Art had been this time to a party, somehow they had put him on the invitation list, and such events are always good for some free drinks and people observations.
This event was organised by a political party, so Art took a drink, and started observing. He would slowly get close to groups of people discussing their personal pet peeves, latest discoveries and office gossip. Art observed and used his personal theory to categorise the different people:
- the mice > the insecure people with large anxiety- these people will suck themselves to someone they know, and only leave that conversation if they see someone else that they know well and like better
- the eagles > the people faking confidence- these will first walk through the crowd, then see someone they know and enthusiastically engage. Or they even see someone else standing alone, and try a small conversation. These are fragile attempts though, because as soon as someone steps in and takes over the conversation one has to start all over again.
- the Labradors > true party-lovers though seem to see the party as a swimming pool, they open the door and you can see the smile on their face, the eyes aimed like bow and arrow to determine the first target. they will seem to know everyone and easily jump in and intervene in conversations.
- the peacocks > there is also the reserved participant, that will define whether someone is worthy of speaking to. Basically these people are not afraid at all of not speaking at all, although mostly this behaviour can only be afforded by well known and arrived people.
Art says that people hardly ever move from one animal-category to another, except when alcohol is consumed, then sometimes people make the strangest transformations...
This time Art Burshy was sneaking up to a peacoks' conversation, and they were having an endless conversation about how problems could be solved. Normally he only observes and tries to understand on a meta-level what type of discussion people are having and what sort of dynamic is going on. Usually - if he ever intervenes - he will ask an open question: just strange enough to make people puzzled and wondering.
This time somehow he was annoyed - but why was he annoyed:
- just by the fact that they had a different opinion than Art...not really
- annoyed by the brainless way they argued?
- or maybe because Art in general does not like peacocks?
Why were they really annoying him?
Of course it was because their way of discussing went against Art's convictions and values:
- Art does not make statements if not fully supported by thorough analysis, reflection and knowledge
- Art will always consider other people's view and feels it is arrogant not to listen
- Art does not believe in easy solutions for complex problems...
He hates to observe that; when people have a hammer...every problem seems to look like a nail...
And this does not only happen with peacocks, they just have their way of ignoring your ideas of using other tools...telling you that 'of course' this should be solved with a hammer.
I then asked which sor of animal Art Burshy was himself, which sort of animal...
And he answered...
"I am a mouse that learnt not to give a f*ck..."
Art had been this time to a party, somehow they had put him on the invitation list, and such events are always good for some free drinks and people observations.
This event was organised by a political party, so Art took a drink, and started observing. He would slowly get close to groups of people discussing their personal pet peeves, latest discoveries and office gossip. Art observed and used his personal theory to categorise the different people:
- the mice > the insecure people with large anxiety- these people will suck themselves to someone they know, and only leave that conversation if they see someone else that they know well and like better
- the eagles > the people faking confidence- these will first walk through the crowd, then see someone they know and enthusiastically engage. Or they even see someone else standing alone, and try a small conversation. These are fragile attempts though, because as soon as someone steps in and takes over the conversation one has to start all over again.
- the Labradors > true party-lovers though seem to see the party as a swimming pool, they open the door and you can see the smile on their face, the eyes aimed like bow and arrow to determine the first target. they will seem to know everyone and easily jump in and intervene in conversations.
- the peacocks > there is also the reserved participant, that will define whether someone is worthy of speaking to. Basically these people are not afraid at all of not speaking at all, although mostly this behaviour can only be afforded by well known and arrived people.
Art says that people hardly ever move from one animal-category to another, except when alcohol is consumed, then sometimes people make the strangest transformations...
This time Art Burshy was sneaking up to a peacoks' conversation, and they were having an endless conversation about how problems could be solved. Normally he only observes and tries to understand on a meta-level what type of discussion people are having and what sort of dynamic is going on. Usually - if he ever intervenes - he will ask an open question: just strange enough to make people puzzled and wondering.
This time somehow he was annoyed - but why was he annoyed:
- just by the fact that they had a different opinion than Art...not really
- annoyed by the brainless way they argued?
- or maybe because Art in general does not like peacocks?
Why were they really annoying him?
Of course it was because their way of discussing went against Art's convictions and values:
- Art does not make statements if not fully supported by thorough analysis, reflection and knowledge
- Art will always consider other people's view and feels it is arrogant not to listen
- Art does not believe in easy solutions for complex problems...
He hates to observe that; when people have a hammer...every problem seems to look like a nail...
And this does not only happen with peacocks, they just have their way of ignoring your ideas of using other tools...telling you that 'of course' this should be solved with a hammer.
I then asked which sor of animal Art Burshy was himself, which sort of animal...
And he answered...
"I am a mouse that learnt not to give a f*ck..."
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