Again Art Burshy had been to a reception, this time with his son.
This was a work party where also family had been invited.
And of course Art today was ready to share all his thoughts and reflections on what happened and how these things work.
'In work situations - and probably in general - you should always keep in mind that everyone has interesting stories and you should not feel superior to other people at any time.
Actually, like philosopher Edward De Bono would say: when you have a different opinion it based on a) different information, b)different experience or c)different values. And stupid people do not exist.
So whenever you feel that someone is having stupid ideas, start exploring with open questions which information or experience it is that has lead the person to his opinion. Or what values he/she has that drives their emphasis on specific arguments.
But...it is interesting to see that more intelligent people often have more limitations in speaking; not sure why this is, and also not sure whether my own mind plays tricks on me when observing different people act in public.
Sure, the more you know, the more you know that you don't know....
And probably for very smart people cold talk actually is very boring as it does not bring any interesting angle or views
Or is it more fear of not meeting up with expectations... like fear is one of the deeper drivers of mankind...
Probably most interesting conversations are with kids as they a) really are curious to know everything and b) when they talk it is to share something that really is relevant to them. And when they are angry, they are 100% angry and not afraid to show it.'
So, when Art's son today was a bit overwhelmed by the reception and all those people, Art told him to find 'dumb' people, as 'they often do not seem to have any problem talking for hours about basic stuff'.
Art Burshy himself went out to find an interesting person.
He gave himself the assignment to talk to that person like an artist would look at any object while painting.
An artist focuses on breathing, and then lets the object or person appear through himself.
So when Art found someone, a young man, and he changed his breathing, felt relaxation go through his body. Art imagined the person's image beam into his breast while taking a deep breath. He smiled, and started asking open questions, truly focused on the story of the young man.
This technique helps artists not to focus on the perfect shape, but more on the expression of how they see the object, not afraid of making a wrong line, helping to make the art work much more powerful and expressive.
Now, in the conversation it helped Art to ask more personal questions, and the man actually told him everything.
'Wow', sighed the man, 'it was so nice to speak to you....would be good to meet up some time...I will give you my business card...'
But Art raised his hand calmly and replied 'don't worry, we will meet again...'
I asked Art why he was so convinced that he would meet the guy again...
Art: "well, sometimes it is just great to appreciate the moment and not try to extend it....
next time if we would meet up based on current expectations it would probably be a disappointment...
it would ruin the memory of the special conversation today...
so just enjoy the conversation for what it is...
and if we ever meet again we will see what happens...'
