chubby people have more...

Art Burshy came by today, all spontaneously, he was humming and had a big smile on his face.
He started with "How are you?" and apparently listened when I gave him a basic short-story-that-we're-all-busy-but-everything-fine summary.
I was hardly finished when he asked me: "Wanna see my new tattoo?"

I was a bit puzzled and surprised and in a state of "do I really want to know? "
And it was the start of a 'funny'conversation

"It really is a cool tattoo" Art continued and he started widening the collar of his shirt to show me more of his skin.
Initially I only saw some sort of lady with long blond hair.
"Does your wife not mind that you have a half-naked woman on your chest?"
Art Burshy smiled:
"It is a picture of my wife, stupid. And actually she likes the fact that I demonstrate my commitment to her so unconditionally".
And does she have a tattoo of you?
"Well, of course not, that would ruin her beauty; putting a picture of a bearded old man on her skin..."

So how many tattoos do you have?
"Well I would guess 60% of my body is covered...so 40 % left to go... and the good thing is: I have more skin because I am so chubby.

Of course being chubby is not good, but I am honest about it; it is just because I eat and drink too much; just love it.

I face reality, contrary to most chubby people that always put the blame or trigger outside themselves:
- it's this weird family thing - everyone in my family is fat...
- they have an amazingly slow metabolism
- they were born with heavy bones
- there are too many temptations being offered
- they have an allergy for a some stuff that is in almost every food
- and of course they are too busy watching TV and therefore having no time to exercise
And they are always the first to point out to other people that 'others are lucky to never get fat whatever they eat'.
In that way they are a bit like parents would talk about their kids:
- when it is negative it is the character they were born with - they can not help it
- when it is good it is because the parents raised them so well."

Doesn't it give problems at work to have these tattoos? Do your employers understand and tolerate you looking so atypical?
"Well, I have observed several reasons why others accept:
- when they know you are good at what you do
- when they actually have wanted tattoos themselves but never dared
- when in the end they just do not give a f**k
- when they have one themselves but have it hidden.
Once I came to work short sleeved, and my manager said 'this will have consequences for your career'. I told him that I would accept any consequences, although I thought it would be unfair.
I never heard about it ever again, and I was promoted anyway a few months later.
People often worry too much about these things, and then stand in their own way..."

Art left as quickly and joyfully as he had arrived.
That night when in bed next to my lovely wife I whispered:
"Darling, what would you say if I had a picture of you tattooed on my chest?"
She slowly turned around towards me, a frown curling the skin on her forehead...
"Are you okay baby? Did Art Burshy get crazy things in your mind again?" was the only thing she asked.
I kissed her and wished her a good night, not really knowing what more to say...