when do you actually work

Art Burshy is having dinner with his oldest son... in between all the other things he had done and planned for that day...so I guess that's what they would call quality time, or time for some male bonding...

Then there are these questions that you children raise that are difficult to answer.
At had been asking how his son's day had been, but the youngster did not seem in the mood to share much...maybe because he did not do much? or because he did not feel comfortable sharing? So Art decided to share some of his own day, hoping to inspire his oldest son.

Art had explained about the different meetings he had had, using simple words in an effort to allow the kid to understand a bit of the crazy world Art is working in. Basically for his son the art works that his father makes are easier to understand and have a clearer goal and purpose than the days that Art Burshy spends at 'work'.
After all the stories Art had shared his son asked with a puzzled expression on his face as if he was sincerely wondering...'so when you have been all day in meetings...when do you actually work? '.

This by itself is what Art likes so much of children; they still have this wonderment when the encounter things that they have not yet seen before...and often raising questions about things that adults do not even think about anymore.
Art recognised a reflex in himself...trying to explain that 'having meetings' is also work, and that it is actually required to involve many people in delivering something together. That actually t is a lack of communication and related skills that kill many ideas and the capability to deliver.
But Art decide to shut up for a moment...his son was right...and he had the right to know.

'Yes son, that is difficult.
You need meetings to have people work together, achieve a shared goal, solve issues and ensure communication in general stays positive.
But before you realise your whole day gets filled with meetings and you have the feeling at the end of the day that you have not been able to deliver anything really.
I even know that I (like most people) am better in analytics in the morning; the brain is still fresh and connections between different parts of the brain are still being reconstructed...so my brain likes to focus and do simple stuff...
In the afternoon my brain sort of wakes up and likes to be stimulated, go out and check ideas with others. This also works better when knowing you have already done quite some added value stuff.
So, I block some hours every morning in my agenda, because nowadays everyone just throws a new meeting in your agenda and before you know you end up in back-to-back meetings.'

His son looked at him somewhat concentrated yet puzzled.

'Well, explained Art.
Work is like life; it is all about continuously finding the balance and checking that all is still in the right proportions.
It is a chair with 3 legs. If you do not give attention to one leg the chair eventually will fall over.
In life these legs would be:
- your work
- your dear ones, family and friends (the real ones, not necessarily all your facebook friends)
- yourself.'

'Thanks dad...is it okay if I now go to my room and play with my laptop?...'

The abrupt ending surprised Art, but he decided to shut up and nod...he could not expect his son to sit through more rattling of his old man...the boy will find it out all by himself...

Allergies at work

Art Burshy almost got into a fight today...and he had not done or said anything to annoy the guy...

Art had been to a company event; as most of you know by now, this sort of events are not his favourite places to be.
A man had approached him; wearing some very colourful shoes and a 'matching' shirt. Art thought the man looked like a lollipop... and although it s a display of bad taste, not by itself a reason to disengage.
The big guy had started to speak to him, about many things.
About how the company was doing and that the employees needed to have more customer focus, they needed to bring the services to a new level, they needed to stop raising issues and be solution oriented...
These were all things Art could not disagree with; these are sort of universal high level intentions often communicated by top management.
However, Art had not often seen that such high level 'slogans' had ever worked in changing people's approach. In his view - to actually change behaviour - you have to be clear to people on:
a) what is the behaviour that you do not want, and more importantly
b) what is the different behaviour you would like to see.
Especially b) seems difficult for people to come up with.

Now, Art generally dislikes people that speak like this and just make bullshit bingo remarks without knowing any material part of the detailed issues and/or giving any concrete direction.
But Art had learnt to control these 'allergies' as he calls them.

I asked him what he meant with allergies...like physical allergies, where you get some sort of skin reaction?
Art explained:
We all have our strengths and we use these strengths already when we are young in tackling issues that we are facing, or we use them to overcome our insecurities when in puberty. As a consequence we depend very much on these strengths and they become part of our nature; we do not even notice them anymore.
Thay make us try to use the same strengths and skills as a tool to solve all problems; it determines how we see the problem and how we think it should be solved. And it so we make mistakes; we use the wrong tools for some of our problems, and we don't see it when we screw it up.
And when people show strongly opposite behaviour this triggers an allergy...we strongly disapprove and even feel resentment...and we think it is of course the fault of the other person...but actually it says more about our own strengths and defects...

It was a bit abstract for me so I asked Art to give an example....

As an example Art told me he had a strong sense of humour when he was young; he used to make jokes in awkward situations, for example when his father and mother were quarrelling... and even at this day and time Art uses his sense of humour in awkward situations. But humour is not the solution  to any awkward situation, and at times Art makes some very inappropriate jokes.
And when other are in search of conflict and keep pushing it...it triggers an allergy with Art...
'why do people need to look for a fight now?'
'what do you think that a fight will bring?"
'did anything ever got resolved by fighting?'
These are all reasoning Art could use to justify the stupid behaviour of the other.
But in fact, in some cases it is good to set boundaries and to make clear that you do not like certain behaviour of other people...

Art saw my puzzled face and made me a quick drawing below to explain...

During this drink where Art almost got into a fight...apparently the other man believed strongly in his ability to share high level insights and his great way of convincing people. When Art did not seem impresses, showed no sign of engagement and remained silent it had annoyed the man. He increased his efforts, but Art remained passive, so...it triggered the man's allergy...

So I asked Art what he does when having this insight...do you accept all your own weirdness...or do you actually do something about it?
"That is what we call the challenge..." said Art.
"Your challenge is to use your strengths while ensuring you do not enter into your pitfalls.
Like: Use your sense of humour to lighten up difficult situations, but make sure important discussions, feedback and insight are not avoided."

I asked him if he himself had thought up this theory, but he told me it was a guy named Hoffman that came up with this concept of 4 core quadrants: strengths-pitfalls-allergies and challenges.
"And does it help? Is it true?"

"Well" said Art "I would not know...but I just use anything that gives me any insight in my own bloody weirdness, haha. Never believe man-made methods and concepts are true,
These concepts are just a way of looking at reality and deal with it's complexity and diversity.
But it is actually the weirdness and insanity that makes life fun, but unfortunately many people do not see it, causing them great stress and efforts to deal with it and keep up appearances"
And Art just walked away once again.

I am not addicted

ArtBurshy hates to admit...he is seriously addicted.
And not just to a simple drug...but to a sort of doping.

He read in an article that coffee should be considered as doping. Sportsmen with more than 3 cups of coffee seem to be disqualified when they get caught.
Art initially did not see the addiction, really, and he had shown serious signs of denial.
Quotes of what he said when in denial varied::
- it's not that bad at all... I only take one cup of coffee per day...
- it is normal - everybody does it...so it can't be that bad
- I once read an article that said it was not that bad...but don't remember where that article was published or who wrote it.
- I have other things to work on and to improve... I can not stop all bad habits at the same time
- I can't function properly without it... which actually illustrates that you are heavily hooked on the drug

Now Art Burshy has accepted.
There are even some weird things he discovered or that now puzzled him:
- actually increases the adrenaline level in the blood, and therefore even negatively impacts behaviour - people act more impulsive when under influence of coffee;
- many employers provide coffee to their employees, in some cases for free - it is like providing free doping...
- all these coffee shops offering doping-to-go

Although Art has now seen the light, he still did not fully figure out how to 'rehab' from this addiction. It is available everywhere, everyone takes it and everyone offers you.
Tea seems better, but also contains some sort of caffeine; seems some 5 cups of tea actually contain similar shit as 1 cup of coffee...and to Art's surprise green tea is the same...

Art knows that going through change knows several phases, like was identified by the researcher Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross when investigating the process of mourning. It seems we go through the same phases when going through large changes in our lives.
Phases are:

1. Shock stage: Initial paralysis at hearing the bad news.

2. Denial stage: Trying to avoid the inevitable. 

3. Anger stage: Frustrated outpouring of bottled-up emotion.

4. Bargaining stage: Seeking in vain for a way out.

5. Depression stage: Final realisation of the inevitable.

6. Testing stage: Seeking realistic solutions.

7. Acceptance stage: Finally finding the way forward.

Worst is that you think to be in step 5, and then find yourself moving back to stage 3...it sometimes just seems an endless tunnel, with no guarantee to ever reach the light at the end...

In each stage also other things are required to get yourself (or others for that matter) to the next level.
Art Burshy therefore uses this in his teams to identify where they are in dealing with the change and how to get them towards acceptance.
Managing change in teams is extra difficult, as you have to manage people that are all in a different phase of the change process...and you are going through the same process, suffering and doubts while you need to pull them through.

So, I asked Art:
"As you recognise your issue with coffee and you know how to change...it must be easy to get rid of your coffee addiction..."

Her just replied:
"why do you have to be so cruel and use my own words to show that I am actually as incompetent as any other human being... I just try to hide it better..." and he turned around and walked away....

How newborns teach us focus and distance...

Our working artist Art Burshy became a father again...
Fatherhood definitively has changed his view of life, work and art in the weirdest ways:

1. Focus
Having a new born forces you to focus on 'being'.
It ads the Yin to the Yang...
It gets you out of brainless running mode, as kids directly notice (and show) when you are distracted.
Especially as an ambitious parent it sucks you all into the primal state; forces you to listen observe and care. Focus on giving and not on achieving/receiving/earning/etc.
This is why many people undergo real changes when having children; but it is no guarantee of course.

2. Distance
Art Burshy also noticed that in a way you are forced to take more distance from other everyday stuff.
Disance from evreyday work; all these little work issues, gossip and stressful targets somehow shrink in relevance and meaning.
It has actually helped Art to see things at work clearer.
It is like opening a door:
- before having kids Art would always push the door open, and if it did not work he would push harder.
- and now he sees that there are other doors; they can be opened by pulling.
It probably sounds oversimplified, but sometimes trying to hard, repeating too much and working to get it exactly your way does not actually pay off.
Actually Art noticed that as soon as he took more distance he achieved more.

This does not mean Art finds it easy to adjust - it never is - but it helps to see an additional purpose in having a baby and not being able to fully focus on work...

Well, as a consequence...a very short Art Burshy story for you today as Art did not have much time for us ;)