Showing posts with label unrealistic expectations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label unrealistic expectations. Show all posts

Sunday, 20 October 2013

How it all started


Art has been looking for broadening his base of income as times are still not at a point where money comes flying in the door. In general he has observed that during times of crisis people are less willing to buy art of upcoming artists, and they mainly stick to the mainstream art that in their view will probably keep its value.

In general Art never really understood why people buy art as an investment, for several reasons:
- it is pure fiction to think that art will be a safe investment. Even if you look at the numbers some 80% of art never reaches the value for which it was sold. Maybe a bit better when you buy through major auction houses like Sotheby's (but even there only 50 % ever reaches the price that it was sold for.
- it is not the artist you are paying in most cases; you are paying the agent, the gallery and the 'brokers' that have cleverly invested in the piece of art that you happen to like. It is a self sustaining cycle of optimists (and opportunists) that keep telling each other how valuable the art works are. And it is actually quite sad for the artists that they often only receive very little of the actual price being paid.
Could you imagine what it is like as to see your art work being sold at Sotheby's for 200.000 and not receiving a dime of the money. Knowing that you had sold it at a friendly price a few years ago to a 'friend' who loved the painting and asked for for a nice price as a favour?
- art is more about the genuine story and expression it brings than the monetary value it represents. Ironic that part of the increasing prices raised have come from museums, at times when they were creating or enriching their collection. They invest huge amount of money to make these works of art available for everyone to see in the museum...

In general Art Burshy feels that people should buy art from the artist purely based on what appeals or speaks to them. Often you can learn from the artist how and why they make these art works, and it adds to the story and meaning that it has for the one who buys it.

That had been originally the reason that Art Burshy had started coaching people who wanted to buy a good and affordable piece of art, and advertised as an Art Coach in art related magazines. But despite a few successes and loads of gratefulness from his clients, he discovered that it did not bring him lots of money. And even an artist needs to eat, so he decided to extend his job to become a Life Coach.
When I asked about it, Art explained me that coaching about art and life is not so much different. Basically art is about people that go on a quest to discover life and make less compromises on the way. These people we call artists, but in fact they are the ones that truly live their dreams, and accept that as a consequence they give up on material wealth, keeping up appearances and other stuff that is attached to people's ego.
In addition Art noted that people only buy an art piece once every few years, where people that had screwed up their lives would need help for a longer time; so a more sustainable business case.

Art Burshy's new Life Coach business does attract some special type of people. They seem to come crawling from the deeper and hidden caves of society, hideouts that would make Al Quaida terrorists jealous.
And this morning Art had a new client; a man that came rolling in his office, hanging in a sort of device which he seemed to control with a joystick. The man started explaining how he had gotten in this situation, and all quite a dramatic story.
Art asked the man what he expected from a Life Coach, as he had observed many times that people nowadays project hope as well as failure onto anyone that is given a role in their lives.
The man said that he hoped he at some point could lead a normal life, be freed from his terrible dark thoughts and grumpiness, liberate him from being a victim of society as a whole, bring quality and joy in his life. The man wanted Art to deliver those things that everyone had promised him before, but had not been able to bring.

Art looked at the man for some time and wondered what was the best thing to do.

"Wow man, that's f*cked up! Don't think I or anyone else can help you. Hang in there dude..." he whispered with an understanding and humble smile on his face.

When Art told me all this I was flabbergasted...had Art gone insane, was he a heartless bastard, did he not care for the poor man and his miserable life?
Art however told me that he had done this on purpose.
Too many times people are comforted and told what they want to hear. And so many times this creates unrealistic expectations.
Sure, no person likes to crash the hopes of other people (maybe some psychopaths excluded). And as a consequence we tell patients a beautiful story, at best including something that should give the patient a hint of reality, but not too much, as we need to protect this unfortunate and fragile patient.

Art said he has seen the same happening in companies.
Poorly behaving and performing employees are tolerated because "it is actually not sooo bad", or "there are other problems that are bigger" or because managers do not really know how to bring the bad message, and they are afraid not-to-be-liked.
Consequence is that these people often live in their own happy world. And on the side the signal to other employees is that 'this behaviour is okay', and actually makes these people wonder why they are still doing their best. In the end in some 2 years these situations turn around the culture of a team, and sometimes of the whole company.
Instead one should a) give feedback, b) explain what you expect from the person and c) ask the person how he thinks he will get there, and which supports he needs on the way. Art has seen it work several times. And if it does not work? Then the story ends...

As a true artist our friend Art Burshy feels that people are entitled to hear the truth. Sure, they initially might not ask for it, they might not yet want to be awoken from their hopeful imaginary dream, but in the end only the truth will help them find their real way in life. Often what limits them in one part of their life, also ruins other parts of their lives, often without them knowing which behaviour is at the source of it all.

So, Art had decided to tell this man the truth:
- do not expect your coach to change the whole situation
- accept your situation and decide what you want to change, and where to lower your expectations
- give up feeling like a victim; it stands in the way of taking ownership
And Art would be happy to help the man, but only when he himself would first give up on all his projected expectations. When he would go back to a basic level of understanding and accepting his true situation, and then ready to rebuild a more healthy view of himself, the world around him and his journey forward. He should act like an artist. As a true artist dives into himself and into his own darkness, and comes out even more capable of sharing the brightness of the light and all its colours.